My daughter Ali got married two months ago on November 19, 2022 in Santa Cruz, CA. Eileen and I walked Ali down the aisle together, and again, we opted to do the same for the wedding speech.
This time around, we wrote together, and that was a fun adventure for us both. We had the script mostly done before we headed out for the drive from Massachusetts to California, but did most of our practicing once we got to the west coast. Then more at the venue site, The Chaminade Resort & Spa.
Here's the speech as written - Eileen in bold and me in plain text.
* * * * *
Eileen: Hello everyone
Mike: and welcome.
Mike: and welcome.
When our kids were growing up, we tried to have family dinner every night. We chatted about our day, our plans for the next day, or just the neighborhood news, and there was often singing.
Sometimes there were games like ‘statue’ where everyone froze as Mike walked in the door from work. He had to guess what the heck we were all doing.
One game that Ali invented was “Let’s go around the table and have everyone say something good about Ali”
I’ll start! Those eyes - a neighbor described them as “smiling!” As for her physical skills - can anyone say, “dyno-lip?”
(Eileen and Mike both attempt dyno-lip?
And game playing! She’s the only one in our family, I daresay the only one in this room, that has ever gotten a perfect 29 in Cribbage.
Though there was that unfortunate time playing Pictionary…
Legaphone! Legaphone!!!
And, of course, there’s her wit. She is one funny gal. A teacher in elementary school told me that she should be a stand-up comedian!
And nobody has a more joyous and infectious laugh, or a louder one. You always know when something funny is happening if Ali is around.
She knows every lyric to every song on every kid tape we played on every car trip we ever took, and knows them in order!
We can count on a greeting card in the mail on every occasion, always with a very thoughtful note inside. Ali, I’ve saved them all!
She’s considerate, thoughtful, smart, hard working, brave, artistic, can dance up a storm…
(interrupting) We could do this for hours, but Ali and Scott do have us on a schedule, so…
Hey! Let’s switch over to the “Go around the table and have everyone say something good about Scott” game.
Capital idea! Scott, you are a delight. Not surprising since your parents, like all hip, happening, intelligent, wise and good looking parents first met at Cornell.
I’ll start with the obvious. Those eyes! Bradley Cooper wishes he had those eyes!
And, dare we say it. You are a funny guy - remember your first text to us when you were added - and welcomed with open arms and love - to our family group chat, and I quote “New phone, who dis?”
You’re confident, so comfortable in your own skin.
You felt like a old friend from the first time we met, and you navigated the chaos that is Fam Jam with ease
We know you ski, you like to run, hike and play frisbee and you can do a cartwheel… Can you do a dyno-lip, too?
Yikes, That would be freaky….
During the early days of the pandemic, Ali was working 100% remotely, so she came east to spend time with the fam. We enjoyed having her closer and she even thought hard about moving back for good, … until late fall when the weather started getting colder.
She was single and everyone was still cautious about mingling. The thought of a long, gloomy, cold, east coast winter and trying to date during a pandemic in that long, gloomy, cold east coast winter sent her flying back to California.
It was not long after that she called, excited about a zoom date. They talked for three hours! The next zoom date was even longer. They soon started meeting in person and the rest, as they say, is history.
Now typically, Ali is cautious. She is so so smart, and so very analytical, and likes to weigh all options and examine all scenarios before committing to a path of action.
She processes out loud, too, so we sometimes know when she is wrestling with a hard decision.
And her history through all those decisions, is that she strives to make the best choice, even if that path is difficult.
Happily, this decision about who to marry was an easy one.
Nice work Scott! [give thumbs up sign]
For years, we used to vacation on Lake Nicatous in the wilds of northern Maine. No electricity, no cell service, just some rustic cabins on a pristine lake. We did a lot of swimming, picked a ton of blueberries, and played a lot of games. We also did a lot of reading.
One night, I had just finished “The Magician’s Assistant” by Ann Patchett. I was just so taken by that work, and I said, “now that was a “beautiful” book. Ali’s ears perked up, and she asked if she could read it. And she did, and she thought that it deserved to be called beautiful as well. Since then, it’s become a thing we share, and we’ve passed on to each other many more “beautiful” books. It’s a high bar.
A lot of wedding speeches might include the metaphor of marriage as a new chapter in the book of life. We disagree. Getting married isn’t a new chapter in the book of life. It is more important than that. It is a profound event.
If I were Richard Dryfus and I had a mound of mashed potatoes in front of me, I would sculpt it into Devil’s Tower and proclaim, “This is important! This means something!”
A wedding is the start of a whole new book. It’s no longer, “I” am living “my” life, it’s “we” are living “our” life.
Ali & Scott are starting their book, their new life together. I believe it will be truly “beautiful.”
[Together in unison]
Here's to Ali and Scott. May you count your blessings every day that you have found each other. We love you both, and we wish you a wonderful life together.
Here's a recording. Once again, dear friend Ross caught the moment on his iPhone.
